Why I am Proud to be a Republican

The following letter was written to Jonah Goldberg, a wingnut columnist who for some strange reason has a regular piece at least twice a week in the Los Angeles Times. No wonder their subscription list is shrinking. Never mind what he wrote today that set me off. It was the usual GOP drivel. I just had to write and here it is:

Mr. Goldberg,

Your columns are so inspirational and so refreshing. I am so pleased to read your comments from a Republican perspective. I, too am a proud Republican.

I am proud that our Republican president, George W. Bush went to war in Iraq to avenge 9/11. I am so proud that his CIA people built secret prisons and tortured those Islamo-fascists who attacked the Twin Towers. I am proud that our Republican president had the fortitude to ignore the Constitution and wiretap millions of Americans. If you don't have anything to hide, there's no problem.

I am proud to be in the same political party with deep thinkers like Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck and Sarah Palin. And I am proud to be joining hands with those who would accept the lies of Charles Darwin instead of the Truth of God's Bible.

I am proud that we Republicans have kept millions of embryos out of the hands of scientists who would use their stem cells to do medical research. I am so proud that we defend marriage by denying it to homosexuals and keeping them in their place. And I am proud of the men who have shown women their place as well, by working to outlaw all abortions.

And I can't close without hoping you will write a piece soon attacking organized labor. If someone doesn't like a job, they can just quit. Labor unions and Communists are all the same to me.

Mr. Goldberg, keep up the good work. Every column you write shows the world what Republicans are made of.

Regards,

NEWSGUY